It's true that you've been away a long time, doing something or other, but not much has changed while you've been gone.
Leeds United are still a League One team - no magical overnight promotion has seen them invited to join the Premiership elite. Away fans are still going to have to make the dreary away trip to Exeter rather than Everton, MK Dons rather than MUFC.
The British government is, if anything, yet more deeply in hock to banks and bondholders than it was when you left.
And the BBC is still stubbornly sticking to its intention to screen a new series of Strictly Come Dancing.
Yes, things are as bad here as they ever were.
So whatever hellish experiences you are going through, just remember that it is far, far worse for those of us left here.
Let that be a consolation - perhaps even an inspiration - to you.
BTW, Lisa says she's rooting for you and wishes to send you love. I can't bear such unhealthy displays of emotion.
Leeds United still two divisions away from the Premiership
It's true that you've been away a long time, doing something or other, but not much has changed while you've been gone.
Leeds United are still a League One team - no magical overnight promotion has seen them invited to join the Premiership elite. Away fans are still going to have to make the dreary away trip to Exeter rather than Everton, MK Dons rather than MUFC.
The British government is, if anything, yet more deeply in hock to banks and bondholders than it was when you left.
And the BBC is still stubbornly sticking to its intention to screen a new series of Strictly Come Dancing.
Yes, things are as bad here as they ever were.
So whatever hellish experiences you are going through, just remember that it is far, far worse for those of us left here.
Let that be a consolation - perhaps even an inspiration - to you.
BTW, Lisa says she's rooting for you and wishes to send you love. I can't bear such unhealthy displays of emotion.
Respectfully yours,
Weekes